GROCERY STORE ANTICS

On my way home from the bank, I decided to swing by the grocery store to pick up a few items. Before I ventured home, I was standing next to my bike, no more than thirty feet from the entrance to the store, munching on trail mix. This upperclass trophy wife (not so sure if she actually was, but that's the image she was putting out) attempted to walk in, but the automatic sliding doors weren't opening, for whatever reason. She paused awkwardly, backed up a step, and tried again. Nothing, doors didn't open. At this point, it was obvious she was getting a little frustrated and annoyed, and began to get all anxious.

As she stewed in anger for a few moments (which probably felt like minutes to her), I yelled, "Oh, no. You don't have a soul!" Immediately, her head spins around, and her eyes glare at me. I'm talking a death stare kind of glare. I smirk, and raise my trail mix, as if I were extending a toast. Magically (well, okay, not magically, but you get my point), the doors open. She stomps inside. I resume my snacking.

After thinking about it for a minute to two, I can only conclude two things. She obviously didn't get my Simpsons reference, and some people just don't have a sense of humor.

FOR ONCE, I ACTUALLY LIKED THE MORNING

I don't know about you, but I had one fantastic morning. What's that, you want to hear all about it?! Well, I aim to please. Let me proceed.

It's worthwhile to point out I'm coming off the high of the past weekend. Dead Weight screened in three different states; at the Nevermore Film Festival in Durham, NC, the Gadabout Film Fest in Bloomington, IN, and a special screening in Kansas City, courtesy of my good friend, Jill Sixx of Slaughter Movie House, and the fine folks at Down Right Creepy. Adam and I hopped in the car with cast members Joe Belknap and Jess Ader for the (somewhat) daunting trek to KC. Needless to say, the weekend was filled with awesome people, lots of laughs, even more bodily releases, a super rad screening, delicious foodstuffs, and so much more. Seriously, KC and everyone in the city showed us one hell of a time.

Let's get back to the topic at hand, this morning. For starters, I am not a morning person. Primarily because I am such a "night owl" (aren't all owls night owls?), I don't go to bed until some get up for work in the morning. However, Adam and I were guests on Wisconsin Public Television's show, Director's Cut, and we had to hit the road at 7:45am. Normally, I would not be so thrilled about getting up that before 7:00am, but when you have a good reason to, things aren't so bad.

On the drive down, thanks to modern technology, I checked my email and discovered that Dead Weight is nominated for Best Independent Film in the 11th Annual Rondo Awards. For those who might not know, the Rondos are kind of like the internet Oscars for all things horror. However, there is no Academy, rather those who matter, the fans. I've been voting in the Rondos for the past six or seven years, and to be nominated is just absurd, and immensely humbling. Side note: feel free to vote for Dead Weight, if you'd like. Anyone can vote!

If life was a video game, I would have leveled up at this point. Speaking of video games, we happened to talk about Mortal Kombat for part of the drive.

Skip ahead a bit, we park and shuffle along to the studio amongst hordes of Madison college students, where Adam and I entertain ourselves by trying to talk like college students. A fine example of such nonsense (since you're obviously dying to know):

John: "Did you study for the poli-sci exam?"
Adam: "No, dude. I don't need that shit. Where the fuck are your sweatpants?!"

Okay, maybe you had to be there. Or just sleep depraved. One of the two.

Going into this taping (we were kindly reminded by the crew that it's not "filming"), we had two TV experiences under our belt. The first was on Fox 11's Morning Show (did a quick spot for the premiere), and a great episode of Dairywood for TitanTV (at UW Oshkosh). Even so, we were getting all kinds of giddy walking onto the set. Our lapel mics were clipped on, and then comes the cue, "Fifteen seconds…"

Why did our interview have to be limited to twenty-three minutes?! What a god damn hoot it was. Doug Gordon was a great host, so engaging, we got to talk about some really interesting aspects of the film, and when they showed clips that we talked about, for the first time in ages, I got to experience parts of the film objectively. Feeling removed from the project, even if for just a minute at a time, was quite overwhelming, actually. This huge feeling of pride for everyone we worked with washed over me.

Although, I did make a total ass of myself. Well, maybe not "total ass," but I sure said something stupid. While discussing all the back stories of characters and excessive info we wrote about the outbreak (which never appears on screen), I said "exstential information" rather than "extensive information." What the shit, what does that even mean? IT'S NOT EVEN A REAL WORD! In making fun of me later (we both were), Adam put it best, "When that happened, I thought, 'yep, there's the Pata moment." Words, must you be so difficult and why do I suck with you?

Sadly, our time on Director's Cut came to an end, and we said our farewells to Doug and the crew… And to the seventh floor we went! Wisconsin Public Radio piggybacked an interview with us, so we sat down with Terry Bell to flap our lips about Dead Weight. This time around, I didn't say anything utterly idiotic (at least in my opinion), and matter of fact, said some stuff about character-based horror that I feel darn good about. Yeah, take that, words!

Before we split town, we decided that food and records should probably be in our future. Adam had a coupon for buy one, get one at Noodles & Co. (he sure like that place, we had to eat at one on the way home from KC), so we hit up the one on State St. Believe it or not, the women sitting next to us bought me dinner, too! Alright, fine. She didn't technically buy me dinner. Instead, she ate about a third of her mac & cheese and left the rest sitting on the table. What a total waste, right? I did what any other cheap fucker with no shame whatsoever would do; grabbed a take out box and filled it up. Thanks for the grub, blonde woman in the red sweater with a bright green iPhone case who doesn't understand the concept of taking food home!

Next stop, one of my favorite record shops, Earwax Records. I still remember my first time going to Earwax. I was in seventh grade and I bought Operation Ivy's Seedy (never saw it before, totally freaked out in excitement) and a Rancid Radio t-shirt (which I still wear to this day). Even though their punk rock section is smaller than it used to be (curse you, invisible oranges!), I still have luck, and if anything, love going into a true record store. If you've never been and find yourself in Madison, go there! Without fail, I walked out with five records for just over seventeen bucks. Boo-fuckin'-yah.

Top it off with a satisfying cup of tea for the road, and I had one absolutely enjoyable morning (something strange for me to say). To quote that one Ice Cube song, "We don't wantcha standing on my roof with a rocket launcha." Ha, bet you thought I was going to quote Today Was A Good Day, didn't you?!

On the set of Director's Cut.

HIDDEN HORROR

I met Aaron Christensen almost six years ago. I was promoting my first film, Better Off Undead, and he was pimping his first book, Horror 101 (which received incredible reviews upon its release). We got along incredibly well, and established a strong friendship which has lasted to this day. He's a dude I respect immensely, have a huge man-crush on, and was honored beyond belief to work with on Dead Weight. 

He's at that book thing again, this time around with Hidden Horror. It's a collection of essays by horror fanatics about films they believe to be underrated/overlooked. For some odd reason, he asked me to be a part said book. Since I'm no fool, I gladly accepted his invite. 

We do dumb stuff together.

As of just about an hour ago, I finalized my essay for my hidden horror selection, Pieces. I'm in some amazing company; some I proudly call friends, and others I can't wait to call friends. This is my first time being involved in a major book project. And who knows, it could be my last time too. Regardless, I'm humbled as hell to have this opportunity, and couldn't ask for a better commander-in-chief. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to some "smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed at the same time" to do.

THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF 2012

I really like music. I really like films. I listen to a lot of music, and I watch a lot of films. Here's a breakdown of my thoughts on both in the past year.

Let it be said (as if it isn't obvious), all of this is my opinion. I know for a fact there's a bunch of people who will disagree with me, that's just fine. Feel free to leave your thoughts, or tell me how much my taste sucks, just be respectful, eh? 

TOP 10 RECORDS OF 2012

10. Calabrese - Dayglo Necros
9. Brendan Kelly and The Wandering Birds - I'd Rather Die Than Live Forever 
8. Classics of Love - Classics of Love
7. Morning Glory - Poets Were My Heroes
6. The Dopamines - Vices
5. Unfun - Caroline EP 
4. Not On Tour - All This Time 
3. Harley Poe - Satan, Sex, and No Regrets 
2. The Holy Mess - Cande Ru Las Degas 
1. Arms Aloft - Sawdust City

Bones Brigade

I used to skateboard, in middle school and high school. I wasn't anything near great, probably not even close to good, but I strongly enjoyed it. I spent more time in empty parking lots than I did in skate parks, however I did frequent the parks from time to time. More than anything else, I just liked to pop a cassette in my walkman (often special skate mix tapes I made) and shred around. All this came to an end in 2000, when I was 15, after a serious skateboarding accident (skull, meet concrete). I skated here and there afterwords, but it's safe to say my mom wasn't the most excited about me being back on a board.

I still have two boards, even rode them a few times in 2012, probably more than I have in the last ten years combined. Even though I hold no place in the skateboarding community, I'm still connected to it, still like it. A lot, actually.

Tonight I was in the mood for a documentary, wasn't really feeling the ones I had in my Netflix instant queue. Scrolling through other titles available, I saw Bones Brigade: An Autobiography, and knew my searching was over. I knew who the Bones Brigade were, seen the videos, knew the skaters, but I wasn't aware there was a documentary coming out, let alone that it was directed by Stacy Peralta.

110 minutes later, I'm floored. Without a doubt, the best docu I've seen all year. Yes, I'm drawn to the subject matter, I have an interest in it, but this is put together so incredibly well, and the story is told just perfectly. Not by our own fault, but we take so much in our lives for granted. We don't always think about how something came to be, or how monumental an achievement/moment/idea was when it wasn't already established. I'd go as far to say that my knowledge of skateboarding history is decent, not academic by any means, but sufficient. That knowledge was acquired through magazines, books, videos, and other skaters. Hearing it from the voices that lived it, the ones that wrote the book, if you will, is remarkable.

Find out for yourself, seek this one out.

We Dine On Visions With New Eyes

After working all day at the legendary (okay, maybe it's not exactly legendary, but it will be!) House of Heroes Comics and Games Day After Christmas Sale, the staff feasted at Red Robin for a post-sale celebration. For those that might not know, Red Robin is a loud sit-down burger joint, framed posters and photos covering every inch of wall space, unlimited steak fries, and you can substitute veggie patties on any sandwich for free (huge bonus). Anywho, it's a common restaurant, usually is quite occupied, and they play a plethora of friendly tunes through the loudspeakers. That last part is key here.

As we're mowing down on our burgers and fries (and I'm on my umpteenth iced tea), pop hits from the '80s serenade the establishment. Think of any radio pop song from the decade, chances are it played. As one song came to its end, the first note of the next started. From that very note, I thought, "What, The Misfits?! No, can't be." The song continued, "No way, it's not. Nope." Next thing I know, I'm mouthing the opening line, "This street we walk upon…"

I was in complete and utter disbelief. Cough/Cool was indeed playing at Red Robin. After those two minutes and a few seconds seconds of musical bliss, we went back to regular scheduled programming, with something like Duran Duran.

Moral of the story; if you go to Red Robin, you have a chance of hearing The Misfits. Even the smallest chance is better than none, right? Unreal.

SAVE MONIES ON DEAD WEIGHT!

I co-wrote/directed a film, Dead Weight, that was released earlier this year, if you didn't know. We've been traveling the country promoting it at cons and festivals. In fact, we've even won some awards and received other nominations. Check 'em out!

Awards
Best Feature - Madison Horror Film Festival 2012
Best Writer - Madison Horror Film Festival 2012
Best Cinematography - Madison Horror Film Festival 2012
Best Editing - Elvira's Horror Hunt 2012
Juror Award - Central Wisconsin Film Festival 2012

Nominations
Best Feature - New Orleans Horror Film Festival 2012
Best Actor - New Orleans Horror Film Festival 2012
Best Horror - Great Lakes Int'l Film Festival 2012

I'm (still) super proud of everyone who worked on this film. Mega congrats to the entire Dead Weight family!

Still haven't seen this award-winning film (boy, that's so weird to say)? Well, now's the best time to order; we're running a sale on all Dead Weight merch until the end of the year. All you gotta do is pop over to the Head Trauma Productions store!

Inspiring Scares

Fellow Wisconsinite horror gurus, Slasher Studios, put together a series called Inspiring Scares, where each day of October they have an indie horror filmmaker discuss what inspired them not to be just a horror fan, but filmmaker as well. They were kind enough to include me in the series, along with thirty other fantastic individuals, and you can read what I had to say here! I'll give you a clue, it involves water and a cabin. No surprise there, right?

Milwaukee Will Feel The Weight

Three years ago this month, Adam and I began causally discussing what would become the script now known as Dead Weight. This morning the news broke on something that is beyond humbling and flattering at the same time.

Dead Weight has been selected to screen at the Milwaukee Film Festival.

The MFF is an international festival, featuring titles from all over the world. Some contain household names, and most have budgets much bigger than ours. Yet, by the power of Greyskull, Dead Weight is among these films. This is a huge achievement for all of us in the Dead Weight family, and the state of Wisconsin. I am extremely proud of everyone single person who gave their all to make this film a reality, and thankful for everyone who supported it in anyway over these last three years.

We've spent months traveling around the US to take Dead Weight everywhere we can. In September, we bring it back home.

Dead Weight Ramblings at Chicago Comic Con

While promoting Dead Weight at Chicago Comic Con, The Walking Dead Fan Club pulled Adam and I aside to let us give some insight on the production of Dead Weight. And, like total goobers, we simultaneously nod when given the thumbs up to start. Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me.