Friday, August 12, 2011


Alright, Michael Diliberti, I have a bone to pick with you. But first, let me put on my nerd glasses and push them up the bridge of my nose.

I went to the theater this evening to see your first screenplay on the big screen, 30 Minutes or Less. For your first film, I say good work. There were some very funny moments, mostly courtesy of one, Aziz Ansari. Overall, the humor was mediocre at best, but it did shine from time to time. I did indeed laugh like a moron at the John McClane reference at the end of the film. Nice touch. Although, since we are on the topic of references, there are two I need to address.

During the introduction of Danny McBride's character, Dwayne, we see him and Travis (played by Nick Swardson) watching Friday the 13th Part 3: 3D. They then proceed to act as if they are tag teaming Jason, with all sorts of humping and other man love. This is not where the problem lies. The problem is what Dwayne says after his dad, Fred Ward (nice casting!), turns off the movie. In the scene from Friday 3D, we see Jason walking around the barn with Shelly's hockey mask on, which, we all know, takes place in the third act. Upon the movie getting turned off, Dwayne yells at his dad something about missing "3D boobies". I'm sorry, but there are no boobies on screen that follow Jason in the barn. I am unsure of what you were trying to do here, make Dwayne look like an idiot, or assume that no horror fans would be watching your film? Or maybe you figured no one would notice, and if they did, care even. Well, time for you to meet John Pata. Failed horror reference #1.

You know, after thinking about it, maybe you aren't to blame here. Perhaps what Friday 3D scene to show was up to the director, Ruben Fletcher. One might never know who made the mistake, not that it truly matters.

Let's skip ahead a few scenes, now we have Dwayne and Travis holding Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) captive, who is tied up and has duck tape over his mouth. After the tape is removed, Nick begins to yell for help. Dwayne taunts Nick, telling him to yell all he wants, no one will hear him. Dwayne then goes on to say, "It's like space, no one can hear you scream. Just like that movie, Aliens." [Enter tire screeching sound here] I'm sorry, did I just hear Aliens? Plural, right? Oh, Michael. Once again, everyone knows that Aliens tagline is "This Time There's More", and the original Alien features the tagline, "In Space No One Can Hear You Scream". You were so close, just had one too many letters at the end of the title. Failed horror reference #2.

Now, let me close by saying that I by no means intend for this to come off like I'm this high and mighty film prick, who is criticizing everyone's work. That's not the case. Really, in the grand scheme of things, I am drawing attention to how ridiculous and almost pathetic I am for picking up on things like this. I mean seriously, how many people noticed when Donnie goes to see The Evil Dead in Donnie Darko, there are screams coming from the screen that aren't even in The Evil Dead?

Anyone? Anyone? Sigh…