I Didn't Come Here To Die, Did You?

A few years back, my first film, Better Off Undead, screened at the Wildwood Film Festival in Appleton, WI alongside other Wisconsin made projects. One of those projects, an incredibly over the top and fun action short, Stache, caught my eye. As it turns out, Bradley Sullivan, the writer/director, went to high school with my girlfriend at the time.

Skip ahead to late 2009/early 2010. Suddenly I catch wind of a new horror flick, I Didn't Come Here To Die, making a huge splash on the festival circuit. Off to youtube I went to catch the trailer, and low and behold, Bradley Sullivan's name is attached as writer/director. No shit?

When it came time to schedule the second Oshkosh Horror Film Festival, I reached out to Bradley about screening IDCHTD. As luck would have it, not only did we screen it, but it was also the Wisconsin premiere. Yay, Oshkosh!

Now, thanks to Level 33 Entertainment, I Didn't Come Here To Die will finally be hitting selected theater this October. I'm super pleased and happy for Bradley and company, and strongly urge everyone to support not only this film, but all the original and independent film as you can.

Things Are About To Get Nerdy

Over at Kitley's Krypt, they have a little something called Cinematic Crosswords, where four fanatics (along with a special guest) discuss a horror flick that seems to divide fans. This time around, they not only tackled a personal favorite of mine, Cabin Fever, but asked me to join in the conversation. Get happy on the link to see five nerds verbally battle over all that is Cabin Fever. And yes, things get quite wordy.

Sit in on the cinematic circle jerk (of sorts)!

The Smaller City That Could

This time around, I'm going to touch upon a topic very dear to me. Something I am very proud of. Something I fight for. Something I'll ramble on and on about it if you ask me to. Something that, on certain days, I want to write off, but can't because my love is way too strong for it. That something is the place I call my home, and that place being Oshkosh, WI.

I was not born in Oshkosh, rather Myrtle Beach, SC. However, shortly after my birth, my father got a job at Buckstaff Co., one of the last remaining lumber mills in Oshkosh (if my facts are correct, I believe Oshkosh at one time had somewhere around twenty-six in the early 1900s, earning the nickname "Sawdust City"). So, the Patas, with my mom being from Chicago and my dad from Cleveland, moved to Wisconsin in 1984. I don't remember Myrtle Beach whatsoever, my earliest memories are from Oshkosh, which makes it kind of weird when people ask if I am originally from Oshkosh. Yes? No? Maybe? Perhaps, better yet, it's complicated.

Let's look at the city of Oshkosh, WI for a minute now. With a population of approximately 65,000, Oshkosh is located in Northeastern Wisconsin (even though it's much more eastern than north, but that's besides the point), as part of the Fox Valley. For those who don't think Oshkosh is part of the Fox Valley, yes, Oshkosh is. The FOX River runs through the city, basically splitting it in half, ending in Oshkosh. The Fox Valley is named that because of the Fox River, see how it works? Anyway, we are about 75 miles due north of MIlwaukee, and 50 miles south of Green Bay. That explanation usually works, seeing how most people have heard of the Brewers and the Packers. 

Oshkosh has the third largest Wisconsin university (enrollment being approx. 16,000), appropriately named the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh, which is where I graduated from. We are located on the western shore of Lake Winnebago, the largest inland lake in the country (outside of the Great Lakes). Oshkosh was once known for Oshkosh B' Gosh (which I was a child model for, thank you very much), but sadly, the overalls aren't made in town anymore. Yearly, Oshkosh hosts EAA's AirVenture, a week long gathering and convention for Experimental Aircrafts and Aviation. During the week of AirVenture, the once used Wittman Airport becomes the busiest airport in the world, due to the amount of air traffic. America's oldest independent record store, The Exclusive Co., resides in downtown Oshkosh, alongside other fantastic local businesses. 

Confessions of a Comic Book Nerd

Many years ago, on a routine visit to the illustrious House of Heroes (I know I'm biased, but seriously, it's one of the best comic book stores ever) in downtown Oshkosh, I happened to notice the first issue of a comic book sitting on the shelf, The Walking Dead. Hmm. I grabbed the issue, flipped through it. Hey, it's a zombie book. I like zombies. Wow, this black and white artwork fucking rules, though. Alright, I'll give it a shot. 

Holy shit, the artwork was amazing. Seriously, these are some of the best looking panels I've ever seen. Who the hell is the artist? Tony Moore… Who the fuck is Tony Moore?!

Being a new name to me, I had to find more from this guy. Then I discovered Battle Pope and Brit. That was pretty much enough to seal the deal, I had me one hell of a nerd boner for this guy's work. 

In August of 2005, fellow comic nerds and myself ventured just outside of Chicago, Rosemont to be exact, to attend Wizard World Chicago, three days of nothing but comics, friends, foxy girls dressed up in costumes that I was too nervous to talk to (but would pose like an idiot to get a photo taken with them), and more people crammed into one hotel room than humanly possible. Now, if memory serves me correctly, it was Thursday night, the night before the con opened, and we all arrived at the hotel, checked in, and headed to the hotel lobby with our coolers in tow. 

This is when things got really nerdy. 

I was aware that some of my buddies knew Tony from the cons, and there was going to be a good chance I was going to meet the guy. Oh, boy, what am I going to say? It was just like when you think you are going to see the girl you have a crush on, and finally decide you are going to talk to her. You get all nervous and flustered. Talk about pathetic fanboy, huh? All of us are hanging out, being childish and shit (like we normally are) when Tony and his girlfriend (now wife), Kara, arrive. I know this sounds ridiculous as shit, and I don't even care. I really started freaking out, but was doing my best to keep my cool. I don't get "star struck", or nervous to talk to anyone really (except for said girls in costumes), but this guy was, essentially, an idol of mine. As I stood a solid twenty to thirty feet away from him, I was talking to a friend about what to do. I didn't want to geek out on him, "Oh my god, I fucking love your work! The way you pay attention to detail is absurd! Your grey tones are outstanding!" You can't say that, that's lame and generic as shit. 

Mr. Moore and myself during that magical weekend.

Around this point, Kara walks up and, keep in mind this is my first time meeting her, and finds out how I'm having an nerd overload. She's all, "Just go talk to him." I'm all, "I will, I will… In a bit". What does she do? Grabs my arm, drags me over and pushes me right in front of Tony. "Tony, this guy is freaking out cause you're here", she says. Oh, fuck. No getting out of this now. Shit, shit, shit. What to say? Think, John. Think!

"Hey, I really like your art."

You total fucking idiot! Really?! Good one, dumbshit. Tony replies, "Cool. I like your shirt" (I was wearing a Leftover Crack shirt). How do I respond? "Yeah, I like them." Palm, meet face. I eventually gathered my composure and was able to have "normal" conversation, yet I was getting pretty fanboyish. 

Through all of this, somehow Tony wasn't creeped out/annoyed and actually willingly talked to me. And it didn't end once the con was over, either. We exchanged info, communicated through email and over the phone, and then saw each other yearly at the con. Over the years, I got to know Tony and Kara quite well, actually, and am super proud to call them both friends. 

Where am I going with this? Why am I blatantly drawing attention to the fact how much of a dork I am? If it isn't obvious by now, I am a enormous Tony Moore fan. He is, without a doubt, my favorite comic book artist. Not just comic book artist, but artist as a whole. I buy books just because he does the insides and/or covers. Original Battle Pope pages hang in my office. I have his artwork tattooed on me. Hell, I even wrote a paper about him for a figure drawing class in college. Wow, I am just making myself sound even more pathetic now, aren't I?

Regardless, as you can imagine, when I opened the email containing Tony's artwork for the variant cover of the Dead Weight DVD, I lost my shit. I've received the artwork over eight hours ago, and I continue to look at it. Over, and over, and over. Even though we are friends now, and have been for years, one thing hasn't changed; I am still a fucking nerd for Tony Moore's artwork. 

Seeing this, and knowing it was created for the film myself, Adam, and many of my favorite people in the world made… I don't even know what to say. It's surreal beyond belief. Surreal and nerdgasmic.

Find out about Tony's awesome artwork here!

It's Been So Long

People of the blog world! Well, of my blog world, I suppose... That is, if anyone reads this. I have neglected you for far too long. As the total completion of Dead Weight nears (about a week away, friends!), 100% of my time has been spent editing, rendering, encoding, exporting... Yeah, you (hopefully) get the idea. What I am trying to say is that life's been hectic as hell lately, and I haven't been compelled to blog because, chances are, I would just have been bitching about how stressed out I am. No one wants to read that, right?

So, here's my promise to you (if anyone cares). Once these DVD masters are sent out, I will be posting much more frequently. Especially once we get Dead Weight out there, I am going to be traveling a whole hell of a lot, and I expect my journeys will provide me with much to share. Not only that, I hope to be not as stressed and bogged down. Time will tell, I suppose.

In the meantime, be sure to watch this news segment. It's important to stay informed on the crazy turn of events, or events that will be happening all too soon. As in March 30th.

Palmer Failed

I love The Thing. Now, I know people say "I love" all the damn time, and it usually applies to impracticable things. However, I can't stress it enough, I love The Thing. What if The Thing was told in two minutes, would I still be as into as I am? Throw some crazy aspect, like, oh, claymation in the mix, and who knows what's could happen. What's that? Oh, yeah, your right. The Thing told in two minutes, in claymation, is below!

The Viewings of 2011

For the first time in my life, I viewed 365 films in 365 days. Film #365 (I Saw The Devil) finished with ten minutes to spare, even. Pathetic/Amazing, right? Here's some thoughts about the past 365 films/days.

365 Viewings. 204 First Time Viewings.

Top 10 Films Released in 2011:

10. Paul

9. Stake Land

8. Red Hill

7. Red State

6. Hesher

5. Insidious

4. X-Men: First Class 

3. Tucker and Dale Versus Evil

2. I Saw The Devil

1. Black Death

Top 10 First Time Viewings in 2011 (non-2011 releases):

10. Let Them Know: The Story of Youth Brigade and BYO Records

9. The King of Kong

8. Buried

7. Dead Silence

6. Let Me In

5. Welcome To Spring Break

4. Hard Ticket To Hawaii

3. Catfish

2. Night of the Demon

1. The Wild Hunt

Looking Back On The Last 365

2011 is, as people say, "one for the books". This year has been… Hmm. I'm not exactly sure how to finish that sentence. Yes, there's a plethora of words to choose from, and while they would fit the part, they wouldn't entirely do justice. Looking back at the year, and everything that has happened, I'm not sure there's any other way to say than to just tell it like is.

This has been one hell of a fucking year.

I woke up on January 1, 2011 no longer co-owning a business I ran for the previous two years, plus some. No doubt about it, this was the best way for me to start off the year. The time spent with this business, while successful in many aspects, was also the darkest days of my life. I was in a bad place. Physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, creatively… To put it bluntly, this time broke me. It shattered who I was. It wasn't pleasant and wasn't how I wanted to spend my time. After much internal debates and struggles, I knew what I had to do, and there was no doubt about it. I needed to wash my hands clean and regain my life. 

By stepping away from my business, that allowed me to spent 100% of my time working on Dead Weight, the film I co-wrote/directed with one of my best buddies, Adam. Now, I could go into a detailed breakdown of how I spent my time, and go on and on about the experience it's been making Dead Weight, that would undoubtedly get stupidly wordy. Let's just say this, for the first time in my life, I feel like I am doing what I am meant to do. Yes, I have long days, get burnt out and frustrated, but when I step back and assess my situation, I am doing what I've dreamt of my entire life, making a full length film, and there aren't words to describe that feeling. Without a doubt, the worst days I've had while doing what I love are still better than the best days doing what your heart isn't in. 

The Sounds of 2011

Top 10 Records of 2011:

10. Star Fucking Hipsters - From The Dumpster To The Grave

9. Weird Al Yankovic - Alpocalypse

8. Banner Pilot - Heart Beats Pacific

7. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Magic of Youth

6. Citizen Fish - Goods

5. Andrew Jackson Jihad - Knife Man

4. Cobra Skulls - Agitations

3. Dead To Me - Moscow Penny Ante

2. Swingin' Utters - Here, Under Protest

1. The Holy Mess - Self Titled

Didn't Quite Make The Cut:

The Dead Milkmen - The King In Yellow

Direct Hit! - Domeplitter

Ellwood - Lost in Transition

Have Nots - Proud

Juicehead - How To Sail A Sinking Ship

Larry and His Flask - All That We Know

Samiam - Trips

Tenement - Napalm Dream

The World/Inferno Friendship Society - The Anarchy and The Ecstasy

Should Have Been Better:

Big D & The Kids Table - For The Damned, The Dumb & The Delirious

Bomb The Music Industry - Vacation

Biggest Waste of Money. AKA Why The Fuck Am I Still Buying Their Stuff?:

The Misfits - The Devil's Rain

Most Enjoyable (Non-Typical) New Discovery of 2011:

Timber Timbre - Creep On Creepin On

Non-2011 Music

Revisiting Records I Wasn't Super Into Years Ago But Now They Rule:

Animal Chin - 20 Minutes From Right Now

Avoid One Thing - Self Titled and Chopstick Bridge

Didn't Hear These Until 2011 And They're Awesome:

Discount - Half Fiction

The Distillers - Coral Fang

P.O.Box - In Between The Lines

Pinhead Gunpowder - Compulsive Disclosure 

31 Days of Horror

For the second year in a row, I've issued a challenge through Oshkosh Horror called 31 Days of Horror. The goal is quite simple: watch 31 (full-length) horror movies in the month of October, with at least 11 of those being first time viewings. Sounds easy, right? It's essentially one movie a day. Well, have you ever tried to watch 31 movies in a month? It's much more difficult that one would expect. Last year was the first time I successfully watched 31 horror flicks in October (been trying it for a while before I started 31DoH). This year, not only did I survive, but then some.

The following entries reflect on the movies I watched in October (all in the order I viewed them), and feature my thoughts about the good, bad, weird, boring, and gory. Hope you enjoy. 

1. Slumber Party Massacre 3

Seen it once before, have watched the first two entries much, much more. Was good to go back and revisit. However, this is the least enjoyable of the series for me. This is going to sound absurd, but one of the reasons I don't enjoy it as much is because it's the most solid film of the three. The story plays out fairly well, and is less campy than the other two. With that said, it's not exactly what I want to see in a Slumber movie. Sure, you still get plenty of blood, gratuitous nudity, ditzy girls, and power tool mayhem, but this one is a little more serious. 

2. Isolation - 1st Viewing

As the end credits hit, I said out loud. "Well, that wasn't fucked up at all". This kind of thing doesn't happen too much anymore, or so it seems, but I can honestly say I've never seen anything like Isolation before. Genetic testing on cows goes wrong, and chaos ensues. I'd label this one as a creature feature packed with a fair share of suspense and tension, which surprised me since the creature is completely absurd (not saying what it is to avoid spoilers). On paper, Isolation would sound campy and cheesy as fuck, but the execution is the exact opposite. One thing that was fucking AWESOME was the score. Seriously, the best aspect of the film. The score is completely solid, creepy, atmospheric and really takes Isolation to a higher level.

3. Bikini Girls On Ice - 1st Viewing

There are plenty of titles I stay away from based on the title and/or cover art. Especially a lot of the newer (within the last five or six years) low-budget slasher flicks. I love slasher films, a lot, actually, but these films never really seem to deliver. With that said, every great now and then a film comes out, even though I'm confident it won't be worth it, I have to see it. Enter Bikini Girls on Ice. I saw the ad in Fangoria or Rue Morgue, and I was duped. The title was just too ludicrous not to see it. 

Well, the title doesn't lie, folks. This is 81 minutes of girls in bikinis. Hell, it only takes about seven seconds for the first bikini clad girl to show up. This first bikini girl is kind of a mystery. See, the story follows a group of college girls on their way to a bikini car wash, when their bus breaks down in front of an abandoned car wash. Rightfully so, they decide to set up the car wash there. The first girl, well, she is driving down the road at night in a bikini, and then stops at the gas station for directions. There is absolutely no indication of why she is a bikini. Guess it's just common knowledge that girls do in fact wear bikinis all the time. So, yeah. Bikini car wash, abandoned gas station, unexplained killer mechanic named Moe… that sums this one up. Hardly any blood/gore in this, which was a real let down. A few of the kills we brutal, but we don't see anything. The actor who played Moe (don't really care to look him up, I suppose) did a pretty good job, actually. He grunted a lot which was weird (and even dry humped a fridge), but he had great body language and a good look to him, shame that everything else sucked. Oh, and to the two male leads: Good job guys, even with your foreign accents slipping in your dialogue constantly, I really almost believed you were American.